Tuesday, November 29, 2016

in the night.

it's amazing how I always come back
long days and long daze,
late nights and hall fights
I keep going to that chair
I rest my body from a day of work
just to open The Word
and I find it amazing that in the night
I never fail to do so.

Praise The Lord that even in my busiest times I find time with You.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

safe haven.

she used it as a bridge
it was a medium used to connect
her heart to the world
it was a place to rest her weary soul
after a hard day at being told
she wasn't good enough, they won't like her sound,
her image isn't likable, she isn't worthy
but music was meant to build not break
she chased her dreams
made the cut
gave all she had
her heart and mind
made compromise 
gave up good 
in exchange for better
her pillow in the night
her safety net
her spotter
she just wanted a safe haven,
a safe haven for her sound and heart
her mind and friends
to cradle them in her love and passion
it's all she ever wanted.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

for her happiness.

I need to get better.
I need to beat her.
If she surpasses me, I'll just give up.
I need to please her,
Only then will she be happy.

I value her happiness.
I need to push myself.
I have to push myself

And then she'll be happy
And then I'll be happy.
I want to be happy.

Monday, May 9, 2016

not for you.

every time I took a step
it made my heart race
I was scared of the change
the challenge

I was scared of different
because different meant
that I had to change, mold
I needed to adapt to my surroundings
and that's what scared me

I was scared to go there
I was scared to do what I love
because then I wasn't doing it for love
but rather, fear

today I grew up.
today I remembered
that I don't love because of you
I love for myself and only me
the feeling you give me
the emotions that linger
isn't love
but rather
fear

I grew up because I learned
I learned that you don't love me
I learned that doing what I love
Isn't regulated by you
you govern with fear and hate
and today I realized that
and since I now know this
I grew up
I grew up from you
and you didn't.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

welcome.

March reminds me
it makes me angry.
God, why are you hiding?
Where is You're so-called work at?
It looks like You gave up,
should I too?

March progresses.
I begin to hate life.


March ends, I feel like I've had the best days of my life.
My prayer,
it was answered.
You comforted me in my worst.
You made sure I was accounted for
when the worst
was happening.

Welcome April, according to my calculations,
You will be great.
Filled with adventure,
but shrouded with mystery.
That gaudy cloud
revolves amidst excitement.

Will that one show up and ruin my joy?
April, adjacent to March.
Something is bound to happen,
I just hope it doesn't happen
to me.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

ai.

I've learned going to sleep angry
breaks
a heart which felt so
content

I've learned love has lost
meaning
to how
feelings are expressed

And with that,

I've changed
my desires
my wants
because the inexplainable love
in my mind
is worth you.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Proudly.

Your superficial heart was all that was tucked
Under your subtle glimmer of gold you proudly wear.

Your light heart was all you kept with you
Safely hidden behind what you call personality.

And your love was kept securely wrapped
In a tight closure only to be unraveled by the mysteries your superficial heart desired.

You cherished love more than a life
A love for yourself and what you held.

They looked at you with envy
Coveting all you held around your belt.
Louis, Fendi, ChloƩ, Omega, Orion
My My My

Time pushed your body into a hole
God mixed your body into the ground.
With a grinn, your love for yourself still lingered.


Time laughed at you 
You were buried in your own love
The love for life wasn't part of it
And all that was left of you was your dust.